Lately I've become interested in bumper stickers and car decals during my commute to and from Columbus. As we all have observed, the back of a vehicle can be an interesting piece of real estate for all kinds of political messages, vacation locales, advertisements, sports teams, and well...identity work. In the past few years, I've noticed more personalization of messages on the backs of vehicles. Of particular interest to me are the "In Loving Memory" rear window decals. The decals typically include the name of the deceased and their birth and death dates. I've also noticed that the dates most often span only 1 or 2 decades, indicating that the death may have been untimely. Sometimes the silhouette in the center of the decal is of a child. I find it very interesting that this space on the back of vehicles is used as a memorial to lost loved ones and friends.
I find them interesting because this space, which is often used to mark a relationship with a political ideology (e.g., "Nobody died when Clinton lied"), an affiliation with a place of recreation (e.g., "OBX"), the use of a product (pick an advertisement), and/or support of a sports team (e.g., "I bleed scarlet and gray"), is being used to mark a relationship with an individual, an individual who has passed away.
The first memorial decals that I can remember seeing were military related (e.g., POW/MIA). Then the first decal that memorialized an individual that I noticed was for Dale Sr. (i.e., #3 with wings). Then it seemed to me that this space on the back of vehicles that was appropriated for memorials took a personal turn and the "In Loving Memory" decals started to appear. I'm not suggesting that there is a connection between these types of memorial decals; only that this is what I have observed in central Ohio.
Yesterday, a truck passed me with two of these rear window, memorial decals (both for children) and a bumper sticker centered at the top of the window that read, "My Sons Were Murdered." I let them in my lane.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
16 comments:
Nothing says class like a vinyl sticker on the back of a dirty car window. I sincerely hope that when I die my family will plant a tree or something for people to enjoy or some other such "memorial". If I get a memorial sticker on a car I will come back and haunt them until they scrape it off.
Honestly I understand their grief and I am not trying to diminish it. We all lose loved ones, but grief always used to be handled with your close family and friends rather than complete strangers on the freeway.
There is something vaguely rude about the memorial sticker phenomenon. Most people would not walk up to a stranger on the street and tell them about their deceased loved one. Why then is it OK to tell everyone that passes you on the freeway about your problems? Maybe its a product of the "its all about me" generation.
It would be interesting to see a demographic study on this. What type of income and education bracket do most of the sticker memorial folks come from?
You mean as in why do you always see memorial stickers on trucks and beat up cars as opposed to Mercedes and Cadillacs and Lexus and such?
I'm afraid I don't share your perspective/opinion of the memorial stickers. I'm interested in all kinds of identity work by all kinds of people. I'm interested in understanding why people choose to self-identify (virtually, physically, geographically, etc.) in the ways they do using the literacy practices they do. For example, I find how you have positioned yourself in your responses to be interesting.
The purpose of many of these memorial stickers is not just to honor and remember those lost but often to share a message to make people more aware. I am willing to bet the father of who lost his beloved children at the hands of another person is not looking for pity, nor is he looking for someone to share his problems. I would imagine his message is simply to create awareness. By posting his own experience in a very public place, he is raising awareness that violent crime leaves many victims.
It is by coincidence I found this site as I was searching for memorial decal vendors to design a memorial sticker in memory of my son, Jason, who was killed in September while riding his motorcycle. Jason's life was cut short at the age of 24 when a careless driver made a left turn in front of him. He left behind a 21 month old daughter, fiancee, parents, sister and a very large group of loving family members and friends.
I am purchasing the stickers at the request of many of his friends and family members to remind people to watch out for motorcyclists as we share the road and both have a right to a safe trip home. We are not looking for attention beyond simply reminding people to be safe. It's not about me, it's about you. The father of the two sons lost to violence and me, who lost my son to someone else's recklessness can not change our losses, but maybe we can raise awareness and lead someone to think about consequences. Who knows, life saved could be yours or someone you love.
I am saddened by your loss of your son, Jason. I have two boys myself, and nothing concerns me more than their safety and well being. I cannot imagine losing them.
I lost a close friend to a careless driver; you may notice the memorial magnet to the right of our posts on this blog.
I think Garrett's magnets and your son's memorial stickers do similar memorial work, as well as a public service. If either the magnets or the stickers make just one driver more aware of their surroundings and consider the vulnerability of cyclists and motorcyclists, then I think they are worthwhile and a welcome addition to the written messages we read while out driving.
Thank you for your post.
It would seem that initially most memorial stickers were "memorializing" some terrible tragedy such as losing a child, drunk driving etc. Most of the stickers had a reasonably short time between birth and death, But more and more, at least where I live, it would seem that people are memorializing thir great aunt, or mom or dad or old uncle that likely died of natural causes. If people want to raise awareness of a particular issue thats fine. Put a sticker that indicates exactly the message you want to convey on your car. You dont need to put your loved ones name and date of death there. Remember the MADD bumper stickers? The ones that said "My son (or daughter or parent or whomever) was killed by a drunk driver" I rarely see these stickers anymore. All of the memorial stickers I have see so far, with the exception of the one on your page here, have simply been a name and birth and death date. Nothing at all to make you "think" twice about anything towards safety or any social ill. The only thing can think when I see a memorial sticker is that the person driving the car must be in need of sympathy and understanding that they cant get elsewhere. Or perhaps that they think their problems are more important than anyone else out there who doesn't wear their heart on their windshield.
I realize my comment is a little late, considering that the original post was dated October 2008, but I feel compelled to comment nonetheless. I found the link to your blog while searching the internet for Memorial Decals. My father died of lung cancer and my 20 year old son drowned within a 2 month period in the spring of 2008. I am not interested in the sympathy such stickers might bring me, I am not trying to tell everyone on the freeway my problems, I am not trying to raise awareness. I am putting decals on my car to remind myself of my lost loved ones and to let anyone else who has experienced such a loss know that I understand their pain and I care. We live in a fairly small town and in my son's case, he had a large number of friends who would appreciate the decals.
As far as I am concerned, a quiet "In Loving Memory" sticker shows more class than does writing anonymous jabs judging someone's level of income and education.
Thank you for allowing me to use your blog to express my opinion.
You might also be interested to know that I have a pink breast cancer Survivor magnet on my car. I'm not sure what that might tell you about me.
Your post about your loss and use of memorial decals on your vehicle is most welcome.
This particular post accounts for a large portion of traffic to our blog (aside from our family and a few close friends); so although this post is old, know that it is regularly read by people conducting the same search that lead you here. Our hope is that your post will be of help to others.
I just want to say to the anonymous post who is annoyed by memorial stickers that I'm annoyed by your insensitive comments. Perhaps you do not want to face your own grief, and that is why you are having such a reaction to these stickers. My toddler just passed away and I want a memorial sticker for him. I'm customizing mine to say that a child can drown in as little as 20 seconds. Because most people, like us, assumed it took a few minutes for a toddler to drown. Our son died in about 30 seconds, he's gone after climbing up and then losing his grip falling into our above ground pool that had no ladder, while my husband had turned his back to tend to the baby. 30 seconds and he's gone. A name and image attach power to a statement, it adds emotion and people remember a message when it is emotionally charged. So I'm sorry you can't handle grief, or think it is something to be hidden, but I believe that all people should know it only takes seconds to lose the most precious gift on this earth. And if my son's name can drive that home and save another childs life, then you'll just have to deal with my memorial sticker. I hope you'll be able to face your own pain, acknowledge it, own it... so that you can allow others to own theirs and help others.
Hearing your story of your loss shakes us to our very core. We have two young boys and live next to an above ground pool (fenced off in the neighbor's yard). We are sorry for your loss and thankful that you are sharing your story with others. We hope that your use of a memorial sticker will help you tell your story and make others aware.
My 19 year old son was shot and killed on a trip home from college. My greatest fear as a Dad is that the memory of him will fade and be forgotten. How are these any different than all the "My child is an honor student" or the "soccer ball and # 7" except the child can't see how proud you are?
Those that have never lost a child may never understand and never should really try to. Those that have can relate to those who have and display the memorials. There is a special kind of compassion I feel every time I see one. I apologize if it wakes people up to the fact there is so much tragedy/loss around them and they might have to care about someone other than themselves. It is a very real part of life!
First of all let me say I am a MADD mother now and I want a memorial sticker for the loss of my 16 year old son. I do not want anyone's sympathy or do I need it! Yes, I have a MADD sticker that says My son was killed by a drunk driver and a magnetic ribbon for MADD that says Don't drink and drive. Why in some peoples opinion is it so low class for someone to put a memorial sticker on their vehicle? In my case I am honoring MY SON and hoping my HORRENDOUS LOSS will save another mother from visiting a light post on the corner! You should never judge or assume someone is LOW class for how they memorialize their loved one. Years ago people did not talk about death of any kind because they did not know what or how to say something. Now we know the more you speak about your loss it will help you heal did anonymous think about it. Not only did I loose my son I grew up with parents that lost their first born son at the age of 4 years old and they did not have the support we parents have today with grief. So please do not judge others and how they grieve until you have walked in their shoes! Everyone grieves differently! Just as everyone has a right to post political bumper stickers on their car I have a right to put a memorial decal on mine and not have someone like anonymous judge me for it!
I was NOT suppose to be the mother at the light pole memorial so if I can save someone Else's the family the pain and the HELL my family lives through daily I will tell a complete stranger everyday my sons story!
Thank you for sharing your story, Leanne. We are saddened by your loss and appreciate your opinion on the use of memorial decals/magnets.
I find nothing wrong with memorial decals. I just lost my 6 year old to a four year battle to cancer. And I too am looking into buying one, not for sympathy but to let her memory live on forever. She was a courageous little hero who lost her fight but she will never be forgotten. She was my everything and now her little brother is starting school and she is not here for him to share his big day with. She missed it by less than 3 weeks and he is heart broken. So it is for her courageous strength that I will memorialize her in any way possible thank you. And for people who dont understand im sorry but these people big and small deserve to be remembered
Post a Comment